Wednesday, 25 December 2024

God Jul 2010 by Elizabeth Obadina

 This piece of writing first appeared on the blog in December 2022


The snow had fallen thickly overnight. All along the street the houses were draped in festive lights, twinkling LED icicles and sparkling stars. There was nothing gaudy, no blow-up Father Christmases, no Christmas strobes piercing the starlit sky, no pulsating light shows. Nothing like that for this was Norway where, at the beginning of December, most Norwegian homes hang a star-shaped lamp in their windows, called “Julestjerne” or “Adventsstjerne” to symbolise the Christmas star which had guided the three wise men to the baby Jesus. There were also red, wooden candelabras with seven electric candles placed in other windows  to provide comforting beacons of light throughout the long dark nights of the northern mid-winter. They are now quite common in the UK but not so in 2010 when we enjoyed our first everyone-together family Christmas in Norway.

On this Christmas morning our house was slowly waking up.  Although it was nearly 9am it was still pitch dark outside and our baby grandchildren had yet to reach the age of waking up in frenzied excitement early, early, oh SO early on Christmas morning to check whether Santa had paid them a visit. That joy was yet to come in future years – mainly in England. This year was a magical one: watching the two-year old’s wonder of all things Christmassy, enjoying the baby’s discovery of wrapping paper and most of all feeling so happy and contented as the littlest ones of our family basked in the love and attention of newly met uncles and aunts. We were all together, and later on that day our ranks would swell with the hustle and bustle of visiting Norwegian grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. But as we stood looking out of the window, cradling cups of breakfast tea and waiting for the sun to rise all was calm and very peaceful.

On cue, two deer walked sedately up the middle of the street. They left deep tracks in the freshly fallen snow.

Theirs were the only tracks; there were no tyre tracks, no footprints and no one shoveling snow. On this magical Christmas morning there was nothing to disturb them reclaiming their old haunts, for forests came down to the back of our daughter’s home, and the wildlife displaced by house building had to live alongside new neighbours in new houses. These deer were making their way home to their forest before any human neighbours got out and about.

This Christmas morning most of those neighbours – and their cars - were slumbering late in contented rest, for all their celebrations had already happened late on Christmas Eve. For everyone else Christmas had finished and “romjul” had begun, a somnambulant dream-time for resting and doing nothing until the New Year and returning to work and school. It was only us Brits who were running late with our Christmas celebrations.

On Christmas Eve our Norwegian neighbours had gathered for their Christmas meals of roast pork with the crispiest crackling (ribbe) with loganberry jam, creamed potato and swedes and spicy red cabbage. Gingerbread houses had been broken and eaten. Marzipan sweets consumed and copious amounts of ‘Glog’ knocked back. 

At midnight Julenissen (Santa Claus) had come knocking at everyone’s front door, magically at every front door in the whole of Norway at the same time. Excepting at one house, where, unable to find his red and white outfit, and possibly suffering from an excess of festive aquavit spirit, Santa Claus had had to use the Darth Vader outfit left over from the North Pole’s Halloween party. The children he visited as Darth Vader had been terrified. They had sobbed and screamed and no matter how many Christmas presents ‘Darth Vader-Julenissan’ had brought for them, they were inconsolable, probably scarred for life. But that’s another (true) story for another time.

In 2010 we had welcomed our second grandchild, a little boy. This was his first Christmas and his sister’s third. His mother, my daughter, had invited both sets of grandparents and her brothers and their partners, later to be their wives, to stay with her in Norway. We would later be joined by Norwegian cousins and grandparents to join in our UK-style Christmas Day celebrations. A turkey (with all the trimmings), a Christmas pudding and mince pies had all made the journey across the North Sea for this family gathering.

But first there were presents to open. The deer had disappeared into the snow-covered pine forest and the first streaks of daylight were cutting across the sky stretching from our kitchen window to the western shores of the Oslo Fjord. We barely noticed the spectacular sunrise at half past nine as we were busy exchanging presents and enjoying the delight of the two little ones for whom Christmas was a very novel experience. By now the sun was fully awake and blazing over a glittering snowscape. It was too beautiful to stay indoors and the lure of a nearby frozen lake drew uncles and aunts away from the Christmas Dinner preparations and out to join other revelers sledging in the sub-zero wonderland.

As the infants took their mid morning naps, the aromas of cooking our British Christmas meal filled the house along with the sounds of Christmas Music – all in English. The sun flooded the sitting room which like many Norwegian homes was on the first floor of the house – where it was unlikely that snow drifts would ever cover the windows! The view from higher up was spectacular. Thick snow covered every roof, every tree, every hill and even the fjord itself which was largely frozen and required ice breakers for the ships to pass through. Everything sparkled from the decorated tree inside the house to the sunlit scenes outside.

Ravenous, pink cheeked sledgers returned from their midday exertions, Norwegian grandparents roused for their second Christmas meal of the 2010 season had arrived and alcohol-flushed cooks had managed to produce a meal that was only running a little behind schedule.

By now the living room was flooded with last rosy rays of Christmas sunshine. As the sun sank behind distant, western hills, we all sat down to eat at a table bathed in sunshine. Bit by bit as the sun set, candlelight lit up a scene of happy diners and great contentment.

Traditionally Norwegian days ended at sundown – then the new day began. This partly explains why Christ’s birth – and present exchanges – are celebrated on modern Norway’s Christmas Eve. It wasn’t always so. In olden times that darkness after sunset had in fact marked the start of the next day – Christmas Day - so Christmas Day celebrations would begin early in the night.

So in keeping with the old ways of thinking I will end this Yuletide memory at sunset when it was was only half past three, when we were in the middle of our Christmas lunch and the Nordic night had already arrived to wrap up the most magical of Christmas Days in an indigo black, starry-sky blanket.

Tuesday, 24 December 2024

Our First Christmas Day in Lagos - as told to our grandchildren when they were little - by Elizabeth Obadina

 This is the second part of our First Christmas in Lagos which first appeared on the blog in December 2020. You can read the first part below this published 23rd December.

 Listen carefully and today I will tell you the rest of the story of Granny and Grandad’s first Christmas Dinner in Nigeria.

One Christmas Eve, a very long time ago, before Big Sister was born, Granny and Grandad prepared a special Christmas Dinner for their friends who were invited over on Christmas Day. It was as close to an English Christmas Dinner as it could be - excepting that the turkey was missing. Great Grandma, Grandad’s mummy, had promised Granny and Grandad that the turkey which had visited their flat on Christmas Eve would be delivered on Christmas Morning, all ready to cook, in time for Christmas Dinner.

We were woken very, very early on Christmas Day by the dawn call to prayer from the mosque over the road. We were a bit tired and grumpy as the church next door had been loudly celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ since midnight and we woke up tired, with the cries of, ‘Praise the Lord!’ and ‘Hallelujah!’; super intense drumming; triangle playing and lastly a bugle clarion call welcoming in Christmas Day still hammering through our heads.  The congregation had only gone home a couple of hours earlier. They would be back later in the day. Meanwhile we got up, made some coffee and sat outside on the balcony to watch the sun rise.

It was a beautiful day. Chilly because of Harmattan but the haze, although quite thick, was somehow lying below us like a fog over nearby swampland. It was white, like snow, and, seeming to emerge from it, the sun was rising through an apricot sky. 

There was very little noise, just the occasional cock crow for even though Lagos was, and still is, a gigantic city many people kept chicken and goats in their yards and very few people then used supermarkets for their meat. It was so cold that we needed wrappers around our shoulders like blankets. We unwrapped all the presents that Father Christmas had managed to deliver to Lagos and after a while went indoors to dust away the fine Sahara sand the Harmattan wind had spread everywhere.

We were expecting visitors so we laid the dining table in the British Christmas style complete with crackers, fake holly and candles – although those weren’t for decoration, we didn't trust the electricity to stay on. The invitation had gone out to join us for a meal at 2pm and by 9am Granny was getting worried because there still wasn’t a turkey and roasting a turkey takes at least four hours and the ostrich-sized bird Grandma had brought on Christmas Eve looked big enough to need a whole day to cook in.

“Don’t worry,” said Grandad, “Mum will send it in time.” And she did.

Just after 9am the compound gate clanged open and Grandma’s car arrived and Muyiwa, having dropped Grandma and her household at church, had one last task to do before he could rest for a few hours. Being Muslim, no one expected him to join everyone else in church. His last Christmas morning task was to deliver our turkey.

We watched him take a big silver bowl out of the car boot.  The bowl contained a turkey shaped mound under a green and white checked tea towel. “See,” said Grandad to Granny, “I told you not to worry,” and Grandad fetched the bowl from Muyiwa and brought it into the kitchen.

“For your soup,” said Muyiwa, which Granny thought was a little odd. “Merry Christmas!! O dabọ! Goodbye!” he said and left.

“It’s heavy,” said Grandad as he put down the bowl and Granny began to worry whether there was enough time to roast the bird.

 “Let’s get it stuffed quickly and in the oven,” said Granny and Grandad took the green and white checked cloth from the bowl.

The turkey lay there, ready for cooking … chopped up into a million little pieces!!!

“Oh no!” groaned Granny, understanding now why Muyiwa had said, “For your soup.” For Nigerians would be preparing soups (stews), fried meats, fried plantain, jollof rice and salads for their Christmas meals, not stuffed roast fowl, roast root vegetables, boiled greens, bread sauce, gravy and the like.

“Oh no,” Granny groaned again and fetched the waiting stuffing and began to reassemble the turkey pieces around the stuffing mound. It wasn’t quite anatomically correct by the time she stood back to admire her handiwork, but by the time it had been held together with bacon rashers it would do and it was getting late.

Amazingly, but probably because the turkey had been chopped into pieces, everything was roasted and ready for 2pm. Granny and Grandad were hungry by now and a little dizzy from the drinks they had enjoyed whilst waiting for their guests to arrive. Two o’clock came and went. Three o’clock passed. At quarter to four Granny and Grandad could wait no longer. The smell of the roast meal now mingled with the smell of neighbours cooking their meals and Granny and Grandad were starving.

Granny and Grandad ate alone. Granny wondered aloud whether Grandad had delivered the invitation properly and got the time right and around the deep silence in the flat, joyful singing and drumming rose up once again from the church whose congregation had resumed their Christmas celebrations. Granny and Grandad finished their meal which was a little overcooked by this time. They didn’t really feel like pulling crackers. It seemed a bit sad and a bit silly. Granny mashed up all the vegetable left-overs and everything was packed away in the fridge.

“I hope NEPA stays,” said Granny, “or else all that food will be wasted.” But the electricity didn’t stay and soon the candles were lit and Granny and Grandad went back on to the balcony to watch and listen to the neighbourhood festivities. And then, just as it was getting really dark, Granny and Grandad’s Christmas Dinner guests turned up.

“Merry Christmas!!” Greetings rang up the stairwell and through the flat. “Merry Christmas! Seasons Greetings! Merry Christmas!”

Granny and Grandad hurried to bring out drinks; bottles of Star and Gulder beers, Guinness and for those wanting something non-alcoholic; Maltina, Coke, Fanta and Sprite. The brandy Granny had intended for setting the Christmas Pudding alight was drunk. Roasted groundnuts and fried chin-chin snacks were handed around and it soon became apparent that there had been some cultural misunderstanding. 

Grandad got the blame, of course, for not making it clear that the invitation was for a sit-down-at-the-table meal at 2pm not ‘open-house’ from 2pm  - as was the usual thing. Granny was secretly delighted that her guests were already stuffed full of goat, chicken and jollof rice from the other places her guests had dropped by en route to their flat. She was too embarrassed now to offer the greasy, limp left-overs from Granny and Grandad’s meal as a typical British Christmas Dinner.

Christmas cake and mince pies were shared and then, just as Granny thought her Christmas kitchen crisis was over for another year one friend piped up, “Well Liz, what’s this special Christmas turkey meal, Tunde’s been talking about?" For it was evening and these young men hadn’t eaten since late afternoon and they were hungry again. “Yes, I’ve never eaten turkey,” said another.

So there was no way out. On that Christmas Day over forty years ago Granny and Grandad fed their Christmas guests cold turkey and bubble and squeak.*

Although no one had been quite sure that that was the typical British Christmas food they had been led to expect, the bubble and squeak went down well and everyone celebrated late into Christmas night – long after the church and the mosque had fallen silent and the neighbourhood was sleeping.

 MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!


* Bubble and Squeak – a British term for mashed up and fried left over vegetables.

Monday, 23 December 2024

Our First Christmas Eve in Lagos - as told to our grandchildren when they were little - by Elizabeth Obadina

 This piece of writing first appeared on the blog in two parts in December 2020.

Listen carefully and today I will tell you the story of Granny and Grandad’s first Christmas Dinner in Nigeria.

    It was the Christmas before Big Sister was born and Granny and Grandad were young, younger even than your mummies and daddies are now! We hadn’t been very long in Lagos but had made lots of friends and lots of them were going to be in the city all by themselves on Christmas Day, so Granny and Grandad invited them for a real English Christmas Dinner. Great Grandma, Grandad’s mummy, planned to spend Christmas Day in church but had promised us a turkey for our special meal.

    We’d looked in the supermarkets but couldn’t find turkeys, we looked in the markets where most people bought meat and chicken, but we couldn’t find turkey so we were very happy when Great Grandma said she would find us a turkey for our Christmas Dinner.

    We bought everything else we needed: potatoes, carrots and cabbages – there were no Brussel sprouts in the Lagos markets.  We bought bacon and sausages from the supermarket and we bought sweet white Ghana bread from the girl who sold it outside our flat and we grated the sweet loaf into breadcrumbs for stuffings and breadcrumbs for bread sauce  made with powdered milk and a deep red onion studded with cloves. It was the first time we’d seen red onions. We bought extra tins of Nido milk powder so that we wouldn’t run out of milk for the custard and Christmas pudding we had brought from England. We decorated our flat with an artificial Christmas tree and tinsel decorations bought from street traders selling to drivers stuck in long, long traffic jams on the motorways. Nigerians called these traffic jams, go-slows and if you waited long enough you could buy almost anything you wanted from these traders – but we never saw a turkey for sale.

    Getting a turkey from Great Grandma was a very special present.

    By Christmas Eve we were all ready. The decorations glittered in the bright African sunshine and tinkled as the chilly Harmattan wind blew through the apartment covering everything with thick Sahara dust, which looked like frost and made us wrap up warmer. It was even looking  like an English or Norwegian Christmas! When there was a power cut in the late afternoon – as there always was – Granny and Grandad lit candles and felt very cosy and Christmassy.

    But something was bothering us. There was no turkey. Then as the sun sank low sending warm red sunbeams into every room, we heard a clattering and clanging of the compound gates opening, a car engine stopped and car doors banged and soon we heard people coming up the stairs. It was Great Grandma and her household.

    Soon the balcony door was opened, and Great Grandma entered the sitting room as the setting sun made the gold and silver threads in her head-tie sparkle with Christmas spirit. We greeted her. Behind Great Grandma came Auntie Cissy who bobbed her head in greeting and evening sunshine shimmered over the two ladies in Christmas delight. Behind Auntie Cissy came Great Grandma’s house-girl in her new Christmas clothes holding Great Grandma’s handbag in one hand and a bunch of plantain in the other. The plantains were a present. Behind the girl came Muyiwa, Great Grandma’s driver who was carrying Christmas presents for us that Father Christmas had had to leave at Great Grandma’s house because he didn’t know his way around Lagos so well and had got caught in a go-slow. He still had to get to the children in Norway who were waiting for their presents on Christmas Eve and then he had to deliver presents to all the children in England too.

    This was lovely – but where was the turkey? Muyiwa put the presents under the tree as Father Christmas had told him to. 

Then he pushed open the balcony screen door.

The turkey walked in.

 “Is it big enough?” Great Grandma asked.

Big enough? BIG enough??!!

It was huge… as big as an ostrich Granny thought, although Granny had never actually seen an ostrich.

“Yes Grandma, it’s plenty big enough,” we both said, “Thank you very much, but …”

“But,” said Great Grandma.

“But it’s alive.” said Grandad.

    There was a moment or two of silence whilst everyone looked at our Christmas Dinner who was strutting around the sitting room making himself at home.

“Someone will have to kill it,” said Great Grandma as the setting sun flooded the sitting room with blood red sunshine. She looked us over.

“Where is your butcher?” Great Grandma asked Granny.

“In the supermarket …” Granny said softly.

“Tsch,” said Great Grandma and drew herself up from a comfy arm-chair. “I will have to find my butcher, although it’s late. It’s Christmas Eve."

    And with a flurry of goodbyes and ‘Merry Christmases’ our visitors left the apartment as they had arrived. Great Grandma leading the way, followed by Auntie Cissy followed by Great Grandma’s house-girl holding Great Grandma’s handbag, followed by Muyiwa carrying Christmas presents that Father Christmas had got really mixed up over and had delivered to England in the summer for Granny and Grandad to bring to Uncle Yemi and Uncle David and Great Grandma. Last of all, the turkey followed everyone down the stairs, across the compound and into the car. The great metal gates clanged open, and shut, and from the mosque opposite came the early evening call to prayer and from the church next door came a lot of drumming to accompany Christmas carol singing.

 

    Granny and Grandad hung over the balcony watching people coming home from work, shopping, cooking and generally going about their business on Christmas Eve in a scene lit by oil lamps and candles – for there was still no electric power.

    Granny looked at Grandad and said, “This is how Christmas Eve must have looked two thousand years ago,” and then she said, “What are we going to do for our Christmas Dinner?”

“Don’t worry, “said Grandad, “My mum will make sure the turkey arrives in time for tomorrow.”


    The story doesn’t really end there on Christmas Eve but you’ve probably heard enough now and I’ll tell you tomorrow how it ended.


Sunday, 22 December 2024

A Very Happy Christmas After All by Ann Reader


 Jane was up early , she dressed with care, today would be the best day of her Christmas, the one she looked forward to most.  Her nephew Michael was coming, as he did every year, to take her out for the day! She reflected that it would all be downhill from then on, the pensioners party at the community centre had happened two days ago and after today it was likely she would not see anyone till the centre opened again in January.  She thought with longing of the days when her dear George was alive.  They would have gone to the pub together on Christmas eve then to midnight mass. Did that still happen she wondered. She dreaded Christmas day, she used to love buying presents for friends and family,  especially when all the children were young.  Now the children all had children of their own and most of her friends were no longer alive,  she felt she had outlived her usefulness. 

The doorbell went and there was Michael,  she wrenched herself out of the depression that was threatening to engulf her as it did so often these days.  She arranged her smile

Aunt Jane, you don’t look a day older it’s so good to see you!  Do you mind if I bring this in? 

He had a small scruffy terrier on a lead. “Oh Michael he’s adorable,  you know I love dogs of course he can come in. But I didn’t know you had a dog.”

“That’s a bit of a long story “ he replied “ let’s decide where we are going and I’ll tell you over lunch 

It was their custom to sit over coffee and discuss the merits of the local cafes and pubs before they decided where to go.  This time it went without saying that they would only consider dog friendly places. The little dog whose name was Rufus did not seem entirely comfortable with Michael and settled himself at Jane’s feet.

When they arrived at the pub an idea was beginning to form in Jane’s mind. She asked to take the dogs lead as they crossed the car park to the pub, she was pleased to note that he didn’t pull and was responsive to her instructions. 

“OK” said Jane once they were comfortably seated in her favourite pub,” what’s the story with Rufus

“He belongs to Karen’s great aunt and she was taken into hospital last week,  to be honest I don’t think she will be coming home again but while she is alive we can’t send Rufus to the rescue and I just don’t know what to do with him.  He can’t stay in our house because Karen’s Maine coon cats are bigger than him and simply won’t accept him. They attack him whenever I bring him in. At the moment the poor little chap is having to sleep in my car as I daren't  leave him alone with them. I just don’t know what we are going to do with him. “

Jane could see what Michael was trying to ask without actually doing so and realised she had also been thinking along these lines.  “Couldn’t he come and live with me?“ she said. Michael’s relieved smile answered any doubts.  “He would be good company and I have the room and the time. We already get on?”  Rufus was sitting so close to her that he was almost on her feet

Oh would you Aunt Jane it would help us so much?” As Jane agreed  she felt a surge of happiness.  Christmas suddenly was appealing again.  She would walk down to the butchers tomorrow and buy Rufus a bone and maybe he would like a toy or two . Christmas meant something when there was someone to give presents to.  Maybe she would even bother with a roast dinner,  surely Rufus would like the odd tidbitsThen there were the walks they could take together.  He was only small so wouldn’t need to go too far but they could go often, and they would be certain to meet up with other dog walkerssuddenly Jane realised she had  not outlived her usefulness.  Rufus needed her but she needed him too “ Oh yes Michael” she said yes please let him come to me.

Saturday, 21 December 2024

Santa's Mishaps by Kath Norgrove

 This piece of writing first appeared on the blog in December 2020. 


 T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.


All snug up in bed, I heard a sound on the roof.

Sleigh bells jingling and a reindeer hoof?


All of a sudden, there was commotion and a clatter.

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.


I rushed down the stairs and into the lounge.

What a surprise when Santa I found.


Down the chimney he’s tumbled, he’d had a big fall.

A sooty St Nick lay flat on the floor.


“Are you OK, Santa?” “Yes”, he replied.

He looked up at me. “Greetings!” he smiled.


“It’s Christmas Eve, I’ll survive!” he beamed.

No health and safety rules for Santa it seemed.


"You'll do yourself an injury if you continue like that.

We should discuss hazards and a few safety acts.


First, there's the reindeer. Those animals bite.

Not to mention, working at height.


The chimneys a confined space, no BA in sight.

If the fall doesn't get you, the carbon monoxide might.


Where are your goggles and protective hard hat?

Look at the way you landed like that!"


He got to his feet and brushed down his suit.

I wondered if he was wearing Steel toe-capped boots?


His stance wasn't right as he picked up his sack.

Before the night's out, he'd have knackered his back!


As he laid out the presents around the tree,

I wasn't quite sure if he'd listened to me.


"Ok, let's talk" he said with a sigh

And then he grinned as he spied the mince pie.

 

As he chomped on the food, I talked him through

Safe and unsafe acts and what he should do.


"You're right", he said "I need to think twice.

I fell down the chimney 'cos I slipped on some ice.


"I understand now my risks are aplenty

In future I'll remember, I must take 20!"


He took my hand and with a hearty shake

"Goodbye", he said "Away I must make.


"You want to see magic? Watch me fly!"

He was back on the roof before I'd batted an eye.


Up went the reindeer to carry Santa into the night

And he said with a wink as he rode out of sight.


"A Merry Christmas to all and I wish you good cheer,

For a Happy Festive Season and a Safe New Year."

Thursday, 19 December 2024

Christmas Cheers! by Elaine Pearson

I decided to bake you a Christmas cake

Very kind I hear you say

Don’t be hasty, you haven’t yet tasted it

A glass of brandy got in the way

 

Well I used my favourite recipe

You know, one for the cook, one for the cake

Didn’t know which of us to put in the oven

Three weeks later I’m hardly awake


Ooh, you’ll excuse me if it’s a bit soggy

 I was a little over-zealous with the booze

Oh, pour custard and serve it as pudding

Or use it as stuffing for the goose


Just be sure not to light a match nearby

You’ll go up in a puff of smoke

And don’t eat more than one slice at a time

Falling over just isn’t a joke


So, I’ll wish you a Happy Christmas

Hope it’s all you want it to be

I trust you’ll enjoy my offering

And not end up as plastered as me! Hick!

Tuesday, 17 December 2024

Snowstorm by Adam Rutter


The bulbous silvery ball

Shiny coating

Mirror like reflection

Curves the window

Snowflakes contour the curves

Sliding down like bubbles in wine glass

Flakes spin and twirl in wind

Water filled snowstorm

Snow shaken in glass ball

Falls to the bottom

Snowflake after snowflake

Piles on top of one and other

Building a white wall

Reaching up to window sill

Conifer trees bulging out from the sides

Branches whitened with powder

Friday, 13 December 2024

The Norway Spruce (better known as the Christmas Tree) by Adam Rutter

Norway Spruce Forest in Norway

I am a tall trunk

With roots spread out on a peak

Standing in this Arctic wilderness

Filled with strange noises

Rising from the valleys

Climbs to my height

My pine needles shoot out

Firm, stiff, spiky

On my oblique branches

Points skyward

All the way to my crown

The wind blows me from side-to-side

My branches sway

The trees lean windward

Slanting towards my height

Clouds well up below

Swallows the valleys

Overwhelms the peaks

The trees cloaked

Snowflakes come floating down

Clings to my pine needles

Enshrouded in white

The snow grows heavier

My branches are hanging down

A powder of snow blows off me

Swirls and coils above my branches

Sweeping over the cliff edge

Drifting into the forest

My trunk, buried in snow

A deep layer touches my branches

Deer legs sink into the snow

Deep print trails to my height

Its brown coat brushes against my thick branches

Snow falls onto its wide bulk

My branches swing back and forth

Snow throws up

Hits my short branches

And lands on my long limbs

Snowflakes swirl and spiral between tree gaps

Dances in the air

Spins and whirls

Spins and whirls

Spins and whirls

Spins and whirls

Spins and whirls

Wanders between branches

Sticks to my pine needles

Blows off by sharp, savage blasts

Sending a raw biting chill

Into the forest

Trees arch toward each other

Our crowns meet

Winds force pushes me

Lifting my lower branches

I lean towards the high peak

Snow drifts tear through the air

Blowing down the valley

Funnels along a river

Breathes out through the fjord

Icicles hang below

Stretches down a frozen waterfall

Ice floes carried by rapids

The snow weighs down on me

My branches, drooping

The snow slides off

 

The Christmas Tree at St Nicholas, Oldbury

Monday, 9 December 2024

A Typewriter with Tourettes by Irena Szirtes


Tippity-tap and clickety-clack, the whirr as my cylinder

     ricochets back, one word per second to end of each... ding! Once work seemed forever - words forming, emerging,

     jumping and jumbling to dance into place,

 a slipping and sliding and super-colliding of

      letters and concepts and sounds sweeping space... ding!

Commas and hyphens, apostrophe items, tumbling and jousting  and printing the air, streaming and bounding and speaking and sounding, rounding up sentences, ugly and fair!

       The fickle faint-hearted and easily parted typed

letters to lovers they’d leave in the lurch,

       and manuscripts mountained as authors and vicars

fountained their musings for readers or church;

       fantastical creatures burst from my spool,

my wheel spun a subplot, detective or ghoul,

       then theses and recipes, whimsies, or just to tease,

 letters that whispered scandal and sleaze, letters that insult,

      letters that please...  forever imprinting, forever fast forming, swiftly words gathered like dust in the breeze!

      Conveying a montage of pounds and percentage, equations,

persuasions,  philosophy ravings, raining from brain-waves

     of lightning-fast minds;

   imagery leapfrogging on to the paper, metaphors

         muddled and edited later –

  then good for the nation, abstruse litigation

empowered long words in showers and herds

     to command and establish, without intonation!

A speech after dinner, or fine recitation,

    the frown of an author, her swift inspiration, yet

  pinged and fast-fingered and prodded – no ‘please’ -

    beaten and bludgeoned with merciless ease,

 is it surprising this constant colliding of fingers

       and levers and qwerty-type keys might

cause a typewriter who reigned, now beset,

     to burst out of protocol, provoke Tourettes?

I’m bouncing, I’m tilted, I’m thrown out of kilter,

 complex and confused, a curmudgeonly crank -

      once I was all of those thoughts, now abandoned,

done with, forgotten, devoid of all thanks!

    Now iPhones and laptops declare, ‘We’re the best!’

 shriek notifications and trigger Tourettes -  

      I shudder and judder as clicks build to clatter,

My spool jiggles all of my parts into natter,

    my bells ring and rock, keys twitch and unlock,

my reverse button bounces, I cannot hold back

     from typing out swearwords -  rattle and whack

go my levers as faster than fingers I go,

      gaining momentum and lost in the flow,

the flow of those swearwords which might never stop...  ding!

    I jolt round the attic, I jangle, I thunder,

I waggle the walls till its occupants wonder

    what is the clickety-clackety-rattle...

Rats? Is it squirrels? Vain is their guess:

      it’s the tics and out-bursting ebullient cursing,

 a whacky and wonderful wanton word fountain –

     a typewriter with Tourettes... ding!