Fathers Matter by Stuart Hough

An extract from Stuart's Iron Age Saga inspired by the quotation: "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." from Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

“Mother seems happier these days,” Timea said simply.

“Your mother has had a lot on her mind and a lot to cope with,” Uedica replied. ‘So have you’, she thought, as she spoke to her niece.

Timea’s mother, Estril, was the task master. She was and had always been the decision maker and the guide to the household's general activity despite the resistance she had constantly faced from both her parents. Estril was also a peacemaker and counsellor despite the inherited traumas of her parents, over the years. Uedica had encouraged her brother Jago*, Timea’s father, to be around the house whenever he could, even if it were to just attend to any repairs needed. Jago was happy to help, but it had only been possible when there had been no possibility of interference or hostility from Estril’s father. Jago had kept his distance for fear of antagonising the cantankerous older man and making Estril’s family situation even worse. On those rare occasions when Estril and Jago had been together, they would smile and laugh and Timea’s world had brightened for those precious moments. She would smile and laugh along with her parents but afterwards Estril would sink back into her whirl of worry and fretting over the care of her father with his broken body and broken mind. Her mother had lost the will to try to cope with him. Timea had been left with the tortuous vision of what her family life could have been like had Estril and Jago managed to keep their relationship alive.

Estril’s mother had habitually taken strong potions of her own making to free her mind from her husband’s overbearing behaviour. She had rarely been free from their influence. Her own error in the strength of the mix, had led to her untimely demise. Shortly afterwards, Estril’s father had taken his own life with the same left-over toxic substance made by his wife. No one would ever know if it was by accident or by design. Maybe he really had loved her and could not bear to be without her. Maybe he had simply wanted to join his love in the Otherworld. Maybe he had realised that without his wife, he no longer had a channel for his obnoxious behaviours. Either way, the sudden change to Estril’s environment had been profound. The anger and pain of her youthful years were still tinged with sadness, but at least her healing had begun. The door of Estril’s cage of pain had been flung wide open and a new world beckoned her to venture out.

Uedica had often cared for her niece out of fondness, the family bond and to give Estril some respite. She had worried about Timea when it was time for her to return home to her mother.

‘We are all born to live and love,’ Uedica thought, ‘all children are born with empathy, creativity, loyalty and love. It’s the path that those around them choose to travel, that robs them of it.’

 She was happy that that her niece no longer had to try and make sense of her and her mother’s situation. Now she should have hope but would still need a helping hand to be happy.

Timea could not contain the fidgety nature of childhood and went to play with the other children. Uedica smiled as the young girl skipped and danced with an untamed love of life.  Curly copper hair cascaded around the child’s face, turned towards the sun.

As she watched the vivid moment in time, she suddenly thought of her own father. The separation from her father was still a trauma. She still could not hide the animosity and anger she felt about the manner of his death. He had always been there when she fell and had stood back whilst she enjoyed her more exuberant moments. He had given her space when she wanted to spread her wings and discover the person she was and would be in the future. Whatever she did, she knew that there was nothing he wouldn't have done to keep her safe from harm. She had felt that their bond was sacred. They had had a unique understanding. A father and daughter bond. They had almost had their own language, either spoken or implied. They had had their own precious, jokes which no-one else understood. Nor would they. She hoped that he had known that, during his lifetime. She hoped that he had known that she cherished the moments they had shared together. She hoped he had known just how much she loved her old Dad. The opportunity to tell him that now, had been cruelly taken from her. Her own mother’s life had been defined by womanhood and by motherhood. Uedica had always been acutely aware that she lived in her late mother’s shadow. Becoming an independent person whilst being true to the mother she had never known, was her privilege and her greatest challenge.

‘So many thoughts.’ She mused to herself. She rose and walked over to where her brother Jago, sat with his new companions in life. She bent down to put a hand on the hot skin of his bare shoulder and to whisper in his ear.

“I know you may feel blissfully happy here, but spend some time with your daughter this day. Let her know that you love her and give her the opportunity to show that back.”

Jago squinted against the sun. A cacophony of thoughts raced through his mind in an instant. He nodded as her words struck a chord within him. He suddenly saw his little sister in a different light. Not the annoying girl of her youth, but one of knowing and caring. One of wisdom and insight, beyond her years.

“Thank you. I will.”

*Jago is the brother of Uedica. He's also father of Timea with the (unmarried) Estril. Timea is therefore Uedica's niece. Estril's (un-named) parents were the issue preventing any previous family unity. Unfortunately at the point of Estril's parents' demise, Jago had already "moved on" from Estril.