A Limerick (and more) Concerning the Chair and a Big Black Dog by Irena Szirtes

A Chairman who doesn't speak hound

Held writing group minus the sound-

No writer was there, just Black Dog and the Chair,

While nobodies danced all around.

Then Dog said, “You must learn, you know,

To hear and speak dog like a pro-

It isn't so hard, you'll soon be a bard

In best dog-speak, let's give it a go!”

“Ah no!” gasped the Chair in his fright,

“It's YOU must hone new skills tonight-

The rules are quite clear, grab a pencil my dear,

All members must come here to write!”

Black Dog said, “Impossible task,

Humungous, just too much to grasp-

But people can learn to truly discern

Our language: you just have to ask!”

Now Chairman (who doesn't speak hound)

Didn't realise dogs speak without sound-

So, he barked, “Doggy, sit!” and waited a bit,

While nobodies danced all around.

On hearing more from the Chair,

Black dog held his tail in the air,

Then scooted along, bottom downwards (no pong)

Till our Chairman gave up in despair!

(And if you're really wond’ring how this happened, if at all,

When Chair's sum total dog-speak is just ‘sit' and ‘fetch the ball,’

We'll never know for sure because no one else was there,

No one but a big black dog, and yes, of course, the Chair!

Not a poet or a proser had taken up the call,

Or worked out how Chair heard Black Dog, who answered, if at all...

Yet we know Black Dog was offered the chance to ‘sit' and write,

We know the Chair waxed on, and hoped the evening would come right,

We know there was no writing, though Dog was very keen

To scoot along or give a paw, and generally be seen-

The moral of this tale, you're sure, simply has to be...

WHATEVER NONSENSE YOU CONCOCT- THERE ISN'T ONE, YOU SEE!