Christmas Cheers! by Elaine Pearson

I decided to bake you a Christmas cake

Very kind I hear you say

Don’t be hasty, you haven’t yet tasted it

A glass of brandy got in the way

 

Well I used my favourite recipe

You know, one for the cook, one for the cake

Didn’t know which of us to put in the oven

Three weeks later I’m hardly awake

Ooh, you’ll excuse me if it’s a bit soggy

 I was a little over-zealous with the booze

Oh, pour custard and serve it as pudding

Or use it as stuffing for the goose

Just be sure not to light a match nearby

You’ll go up in a puff of smoke

And don’t eat more than one slice at a time

Falling over just isn’t a joke

So, I’ll wish you a Happy Christmas

Hope it’s all you want it to be

I trust you’ll enjoy my offering

And not end up as plastered as me! Hick!