Santa's Mishaps by Kath Norgrove

 This piece of writing first appeared on the blog in December 2020. 

 T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

All snug up in bed, I heard a sound on the roof.

Sleigh bells jingling and a reindeer hoof?

All of a sudden, there was commotion and a clatter.

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

I rushed down the stairs and into the lounge.

What a surprise when Santa I found.

Down the chimney he’s tumbled, he’d had a big fall.

A sooty St Nick lay flat on the floor.

“Are you OK, Santa?” “Yes”, he replied.

He looked up at me. “Greetings!” he smiled.

“It’s Christmas Eve, I’ll survive!” he beamed.

No health and safety rules for Santa it seemed.

"You'll do yourself an injury if you continue like that.

We should discuss hazards and a few safety acts.

First, there's the reindeer. Those animals bite.

Not to mention, working at height.

The chimneys a confined space, no BA in sight.

If the fall doesn't get you, the carbon monoxide might.

Where are your goggles and protective hard hat?

Look at the way you landed like that!"

He got to his feet and brushed down his suit.

I wondered if he was wearing Steel toe-capped boots?

His stance wasn't right as he picked up his sack.

Before the night's out, he'd have knackered his back!

As he laid out the presents around the tree,

I wasn't quite sure if he'd listened to me.

"Ok, let's talk" he said with a sigh

And then he grinned as he spied the mince pie.

 

As he chomped on the food, I talked him through

Safe and unsafe acts and what he should do.

"You're right", he said "I need to think twice.

I fell down the chimney 'cos I slipped on some ice.

"I understand now my risks are aplenty

In future I'll remember, I must take 20!"

He took my hand and with a hearty shake

"Goodbye", he said "Away I must make.

"You want to see magic? Watch me fly!"

He was back on the roof before I'd batted an eye.

Up went the reindeer to carry Santa into the night

And he said with a wink as he rode out of sight.

"A Merry Christmas to all and I wish you good cheer,

For a Happy Festive Season and a Safe New Year."