Twice Upon a Time - a flash fiction by John Ayres Smith

So, let’s not say … once upon a time … how about … twice upon a time?

That is accurate really, because when I stood waiting in the queue in the post office, so odd, so out of character, I guess out of boredom and a little irritation, I grabbed one of those scratch cards. – Well, I thought I had but it turned out that I had grabbed two almost stuck together. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever bought one, ever. I’m not a gambler, don’t do the lottery, nor The Grand National but here I was standing in a queue farting around trying to scratch off the covering over  - well over what?

I see that it was simple – just words started appearing underneath where I was trying to use my nail to remove the rubbery covering.

No, it’s no good, I thought – why the hell do they call them scratch cards? If you have an itch, you scratch – no problem – if you fall flat on your face, if you’re lucky you come out with a scratch. – But these blooming things won’t allow me to scratch, so now I’m in trouble, thinking what I had on me that would do the job.

Suddenly, my turn at the counter as I balance the two cards in one hand, phone in the other, carrying my shopping as well.

I get the stamps, do the recorded delivery thing and then fumble as I leave the shop.

Bloody hell – where are they?

I had them in my left hand. I look around. - Can’t find them. I retrace my steps. I’m thinking – what an idiot – I never gamble – never ever and now I’ve lost them – both of them. They’d cost me a pound each – stupid – stupid.

Then a lady bumps into me “these yours?”

She hands them to me and then she apologises.

“I’m sorry, you dropped them, I picked them up, but I too had two scratch cards, but different types. Sorry, she said again.

“You know they’re winners, don’t you.”

I looked and there in front of me were the words …

Winner £1,000 – I misread it at first and thought it was a one pound win – bloody hell – I’ve won a thousand pounds!

Then I looked at the second card – it was only half scratched off, so I got my car keys and, frantically, scratched for England.

Unbelievable …

It read: Winner £2,500.

I gasped.

Chasing after the woman, I shouted “what do I do?”

“What d’you mean? Just take them back into the post office - they’ll tell you.”

So, there you go … “Twice upon a time.” – Just as I said.

Context:

Hightown Writers’ will often, in session, set a task, out of the blue, to write a themed piece, ‘off-the-cuff’ in say, ten minutes (as was this task). In this instance the theme was to write something “WEIRD” and John wrote it in exactly ten minutes. One should say that John specialises in writing flash fiction and short stories and he especially enjoys the challenge of producing work to a strictly timed deadline and with no notice.