What Birthday Party? by Fiona Carstairs

I didn’t want a Birthday Party

Are you sure said my sister?

Are you sure asked my sons?

You may change your mind

Said my friend Jon

This birthday is not one I wish to remember

It would not bring my youth back

It would not give my health back

Nor the excitement of a unlived future

I didn’t wish  for ‘Well at our age’ by some well wisher

I did not want to celebrate as friends no longer there

 Would be conspicous by their absence

I could see the  slippery slope to the grave 

Coming at me

Time was galloping towards me with death in its stead

I thought acknowleging my birthday

Would awaken the horseman

I awoke the next morning the earth hadn’t changed course

I did not feel older I did not feel worse

I did not feel my  age was a sudden curse

The sun was out the day was warm

I jumped out of bed washed put clothes on

Downstairs the post lay on the mat

A deluge of cards on which  sat the cat 

Each one a  blessing each one confessing 

A friendship built over the years

 I  then realised I had turned my back 

On these loving people I must give back

With a party to remember our days 

Of being together before it all fades 

Then the doors to the sitting room opened

And with a big ‘Surprise surprise’ there they all stood

Overcome with joy I had not been allowed to let

My birthday party slip on by.