Hoods and Bots: Part Eighteen by Irena Szirtes

credit: Canva/Irena Szirtes

    I was gobsmacked. Frank, up here at High Tarn, all devastating smile and flattering tailored jacket.  Lin, all fuss and fluster, said she must get afternoon tea prepared in honour of the occasion. It wasn’t that he flirted, just that he came bearing some of those expensive hand-pollinated flowers, and treated her as though she were a countess holding court. She’d melted like illegal butter in the sun. 

“ How – what – what are you doing here?” I stuttered.

“Great to see you too, Mia.”

“I mean –  did you somehow get permission to go North, then sneak up here just to see me?”

“I might well have done, if I’d been sure of a welcome.”

Tears stung my eyes. This was not how I’d imagined things would be, not now I’d forgiven him. 

“Well, you don’t need me to make you welcome.” I knew I sounded defensive, though I hadn’t meant to. “Lin and Ben will do that. Looks like Lin already has, there’s a surprise! And I’m quite sure Roland’ll be glad to see you. Where are the dogs?” 

I hadn’t wanted to say that, either. I’d imagined giving him a real hug, so he’d sense the difference in me. Then I’d tell him I’d let if all go, still cared about him, and genuinely wished him well, even though trust might have to be rebuilt. 

But I deserved the reply I got:  “And thank you Frank, for taking care of them for me, wow, all that extra time as well.” 

“Well yes, of course, I just...” 

I imagined that hug again, how warm and sweet it had been in my imagination. A relief. Enjoyable. Breathing his scent again, even if we were to be just friends.

“Well Mia, if you must know, they’re having the time of their little lives, living like royalty with your soon-to-be-divorced parents-in-law. Never had it so good. They think they’re in doggie heaven, venison every day and more fuss than they can decently handle.” 

“Oh. Ok. Your parents  - are they well?”

“To quote your host Ben, I’d say, with mum’s digestive  problems and dad’s chest, they’re ‘fair to middlin’. And just in case you cared to ask, I’m fine.”

“Good. Me too, actually, absolutely fine!” It sounded sarcastic,  I knew, but   just couldn’t seem to get the words right. “I mean, when you’ve  been beaten by Bots, starved, chilled to the bone, been within seconds of rape and execution, all the time completely confused while your whole world turns on its head, you find recreating somewhere as beautiful as this is actually all you need to get well.” 

There was a slight shake of his head, and disappointment seemed to cloud his face for a moment. But this was Frank, and as ever, he flipped back into happy-go-lucky mode.

“Well, that’s good then,  because I didn’t come here so we could enjoy making each other gloriously unhappy again. I know you’d relish that, but I’m here to reconnect with Roland. We’ve a mission to fulfil.”

“Really?” I could have cried. I knew I’d messed up, but cutting me with words was not like him. 

“Sure. Was sent to look at some army camp infrastructure that needs revamping. Been all over on a consultancy basis lately, but this one was wangled so we could do the mission. Love the new haircut, by the way.”

   A brief smile lit his face, just as Lin came through the door. “Frank, you must be hungry after such a long day, dear. Do come through – you too, Mia. There’ll be plenty of time to catch up later. You won’t be doing any more work today, will you Mia?”

 She began talking to Frank as if I wasn’t there.  “So good of you to come in person to see her and to thank us – I mean, we don’t look for thanks, it’s  required duty, but even so, it’s very sweet of you. It’s been a pleasure to have her, she’s a natural with the farm chores, but still needs frequent rests, of course. Now Roland is actually losing weight out there, he’s  working so hard. It’s  just..”  she caught my eye again, and we began to giggle. “He just can’t seem to get the hang of doing the geese.” 

Suddenly  emboldened  by laughter, I straightened my face and turned to Frank. “I’ll show you round later. You’ll love the collies. There’s sheep on the fell, and lovely illegal eggs to collect. Perhaps you’ll enjoy meeting my newest best  friends - the renowned watch-geese of High Tarn Farm.”